Leaning into uncertainty
Lately I have felt a little shaky. Like I am searching for something to ground me. I have my Yin yoga practice, meditation and my buddhist teachings, that I follow daily and yet I feel on uneasy ground. Reflecting on this the other day, it occurred to me, that this happens every January in some way or form.
Leaving the past year behind and the many possibilities …endless really, that are waiting ahead, in the new year seem to overwhelm me. As if there is some sort of pressure to perform. to deliver results, to improve, lies heavy on my shoulders. The thing is, nobody is putting any of these types of pressure on me, except myself. Instead of trying to understand why I feel this way, I have mediateted to silence my mind. So I can hear better.
Can you stay and lean into it
I stay with it, lean into it and observe even when it gets uncomfortable or even when it causes anxiety. I still “run away” from it when it overwhelms me sometimes but I am getting better at touching it a bit and then staying for a while with whatever arises. My pattern and most people’s pattern I think it is to run away. To distract with thoughts of why am I feeling this way, what can I do to change how I am feeling or overthinking. What happens if we stay with it and practice being with what scares us, gently and with loving kindness towards ourselves.
Pema Chödrön says “If we can stay with the rawness of our direct experience, emotional energy can move through us without getting stuck” and “Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic -this is the spiritual path“. This week I have been listening to Getting Unstuck on Sounds True by Pema Chödrön.